Goodbye Journalism

Journalism was the best thing for me for the past two years. It helped me be involved in school but not keeping me in school. It worked out great since I liked being home with my daughter after school. It also was a bonus that I could even make a portfolio and put this on my resume. It was perfect. I always loved writing and my teacher, Ms. Parades, help bring that out of me even more. This class even made me consider having English as a minor for me in college. Journalism was a game changer for me.

But it is sad to think I won’t be able to write articles anymore for the bee line. Yea it might’ve been annoying sometimes to write about stuff you weren’t crazy about but since writing came natural to me it was easy.

After my daughter I never thought my high school years were going to be the same after but it wasn’t...

I might’ve been tired than most people but I was able pass all my classes, leave a footprint in Van as a writer for the newspaper and make relationships that I never thought could happen. I used to assume all I would have was myself and homework, but I thank god I was able to fulfill more than that. I’m a teen mom that messed up, got my crap back together, a mom that went to prom and soon will be graduating with my class. Class of 2014 and I know when I walk across the stage with my book with no diploma in it (lmao) ill finally feel relieved that I did it!

I did what I always wanted to do and be the best role model for my little girl and finishing high school was just the beginning! BUT IM DOING IT-& THAT’S WHAT MATTERS!!

Martin Van Buren HIgh School

High School Really Does Change You..

Throughout high school I've gained and lost a lot but more so gained. I've lost friends but only friends that would've dragged me down . but I've gained friends and have gotten closer to the ones that make me a better person. My friends have helped me through my boyfriend problems, family problems, or been there to help me vent about stupid stuff. But for the friends i have lost- i wish them well and hopefully things workout for them.

High school helped me find an amazing boyfriend. he might be rough around the edges but overall i love him, flaws and all. Without him i wouldn't have my daughter and i wouldn't have matured and took advantage of the things around me. you know what they say- when life gives you lemons make lemonade! 

School helped me get closer to my family. my family has been there with me through thick and thin. it helped me put down my walls with them and made me change my views of them as annoying ,wont-let-me-do-anything family.

i feel like I've changed mentally ,physically and emotionally. my mind is more open to other peoples views and opinions, Physically i understand i cant wear just anything i want to but I'm okay with that. i carry myself differently too. Its not trashy or nerdy but my own type of swag. i finally feel unique .I'm not a typical Guyanese person, I'm not a crazy teenager running the halls, I'm not the girl in the corner anymore.

i think that's what high school is about.finding out who you are and doing so by going through phases. phases that make you look back and say what was i doing.

high school wasn't a waste of 4 years -it was a lesson .i lesson that took 4 years to figure out & maybe for some it ll take longer. 

i don't have any regrets because if i didn't do all the things i did-wouldn't be who i am today.

I am Jasmine ..

Where Does The Time Go?

from fights to best friend problems, true and fake friends, obstacles, unforgettable laughs , moments that replay over and over again, to regrets, learning life lessons, new morals, and figuring out how high school changed and shaped you. 

to who you are and will be , that what high school helps us do,its not our last year of public school. its the beginning of being an adult and finally taking the wheel and becoming everything you wanted.

so to everyone who said you cant-tell them "go eff themselves" and show them different. you got this far so bang out the rest and make something of yourself. 

We did it class of 2014.we mother effing did it!!

Prom Night !

 Prom Night

Getting Ready- The day before i decided to do my nails and eyebrows because i didn't want to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. So only day of prom i had to do my hair and make up. My make up and hair came out gorgeous . i ended up putting my hair up and my make up had loud eyes with simple foundation. I would definitely go back that salon. Her name was Marie and she owned the salon named Fancy , its located on 212 st and Jamaica with its cute pink banner. Plus her prices is affordable. i thought i was going to spend over $100 but it was $45 for my hair and $25 for make up.(and i didn't even have to bring my own foundation or powder, she had it all).

Timing- so i told my best friend ,Noushin, to meet me at my house at 5pm ,so we had enough time for pictures and picking up the others. We left my house at 6 and when i reached my other friends house, she was running late. We ended up leaving there at 7pm! but it took no time to get to prom because we missed rush hour. 20 minutes later we ended up at this elegant hall by the water. the background of queens shimmering took your breath away. Everybody looked gorgeous in their gowns and the guys in tuxes. Not too long after the whole group got together. all 12 of us. 1030 hit and we left to head to the after party. traffic was so bad that we didn't reach the city till 12. The night was even better after that. I met my boyfriend there and we danced till our feet hurt. i would do this whole night again if i could. it was fun.

Expectations- i  thought the night would've been a bore but it was wayy better than i thought.being around cool people and making memories that i will never forget. Having a real teen moment-it was awesome.

The Word "Teen Mom"

Teen Mom

The word teen mom seems to either surprise people or disgust people. The people that meet me and don't know are in such shock when i say i have a kid. and then the typical questions are asked.

1. Whats is it, a boy or girl?
2. How old are they?
3. How did your parents take  it?

And every time i hear these questions i cant help being annoyed . i wonder if this is what i used to look like when i found out another student was pregnant or has a kid. And those few moms or dads are not in school anymore or MIA majority of the year. I've always wanted to meet another teem mom that went to school , it would just be nice to have everything in common,(i.e. school, toddler problems, bf problems/baby daddy drama,etc).. but that never seems to happen. i know its not easy for everyone to have a baby and continuing a normal teenage life but i at least wanna have one. It kind of helps me not feel weird or an outcast. People seem to look at you differently. like WTF am i suppose to look like?

In other cases , students seem to be judge mental about girls having babies. I'm pretty sure it wasn't planned but it doesn't make us easy or sloppy slut. 

I've always been the type of person to look in from both sides even when I'm mad so i get the stereotyping but it doesn't mean all people are the same.I'm pretty sure if you were on the opposite side you would be asking for the same thing, the whole "you don't know me so don't judge me on my life, your not god or even close to being him!" i would think by now that things would've evolved by now and teen moms wouldn't still have a plagued title.

Summer ! Where Are Youuuu!

Wondering What Summer Will Bring ,Or Rise?

So there's less than 12 days of school left and i'm already making my list of things to do. 

Summer List

1. Potty Training 
2. Getting summer-time fine
3. Choose my college classes
4. Finally, getting my S^&* together.

If things go as planned and starting August -all things will be a breeze & less stressful.

Sighhh Stress. The stress that makes things unclear, no flowing thought besides what wrong or needs to be done. The stress that makes my blood pressure go through the roof,and my arm starts to hurt. Last but not least, the stress that makes you feel like your world is coming to an end. How fun, huh. 

PROM!!!

Prom Is A Week Away!

With prom being a week away , I've been more and more anxious. From picking up my dress to trying to find out what hair style i should do. 

But what i do know is that this moment will never be forgotten. At first i was iffy about going to prom but the more i thought about it,l realized what a lost it would be to not take advantage of a normal teenage situation.

So I've decided on a mermaid style red dress with rhinestones ( gotta show what curves i do have!) . and so far from what I've been hearing..everyone is wearing white, floral or lace. so i am not trying to look like everyone else. this dress what amazingg. it fit perfectly -no alterations needed beside a little hem on the bottom. I've decided to make straps with the scrapes from the bottom tool so i think it'll look better on me than it did strapless.

So shoes are checked off my list, my dress is done, jewelry is picked out ,make up decided on. but my hair.i have no clue if i want my hair to be up , half up half down or to the side . i don't know!

Ughh The Choicessss!

hopefully i find something perfect that suites my face and my dress. 

I cant wait !!

Things To Do: College, College, College ?

College Is Driving Me Crazyy

If you know how chaotic applying to college can be then you can sympathize with me. You have to do 101 things! There's applying to the schools you want to go to, sending you SAT scores, even worse -waiting for a response. You know- the constant email checking, rambling through the mail or even for a call. And after getting your responses you have to pick one and once you have, you have to look at all the requirements. And honestly its like ripping off your arms and legs to get them the items. You even sometimes wonder- why the heck do you need that for? but whatever- do what you have to do. 
So I've decided to go to QCC (Queensborough Community College) and I've got to do the placement tests on the 3rd of June. Get the FAFSA application in by the first. AND send them my immunization records?....i know that's what I'm talking about. Your like "what the!?" Kind of makes you wonder about the school your going to. But i cant redo my five year plan..

MY FIVE YEAR PLAN
*MUST BE COMPLETED BEFORE LITTLE DIVA IS IN KINDERGARTEN*

1. Receive bachelor degree in Nursing in 3 years to be a Registered Nurse ( 4 years if i go for my masters degree)
2. After college, get a job ( OF COURSE!)
3. Save for a 2 years and buy a place of my own
4. ***** never ask anyone for a penny to get her school stuff***

Number four is most important. That's my deadline , my deadline to get my crap together and fully be a 100% mom that pays the bills, has her own place , her own car, and can be independent .
But soon I'll be done - college is just one more step closer to my goal..I got this .

My #MCE ;)

When You're Just Not Into Him. The Movie

FYI if you didn't catch on my baby daddy is also my boyfriend. And the history behind us sounds like a cliche date movie. He was in my geometry class and wasn't the apple of my eye. Heck - i used to ignore him and bury myself in the back of the class and ignore all questions. But if we caught eye contact i would answer with two words. I know-i was a bit a mean but he didn't seem like my type. I hated the people he hung out with, seemed like a guy that just wanted to hit-it-and-quit-it, and acted stupid when it wasn't needed.

BUT HOW DID WE HAPPEN?- he needed a way to talk to me so he would ask for help...ALL THE TIME. and soon enough we started talking to each other about stuff other than math. and gradually i started feeling things- Feeling a vibe , feeling a sense of attraction to him. Before i knew it i was hooked. Hooked on his face, personality and i figured why people said opposites attract. He was the total opposite of me; different hobbies,different style and different mind set. But oddly enough it was pulling us together. it made things interesting.

3 YEARS LATER- and we're still together . surprisingly . through all the ups and downs ,we still want each other. and I'm still finding out new things about him. and that took three years to come out! But whats more interesting, is that we understand and communicate better than we did before. So when people mention that they've known their significant other for a year i say " wait till later on and you'll see a huge difference. ". it also helps me understand my parents relationship. they're also total opposites but they work well enough to be together for 30 years and still going strong. 

Its weird to question love or even define love but as time keeps going , the more and more i get it.i get what its suppose to feel like. i get why real love lasts.

Don't Judge Me?

      Hi, my name is Jasmine H.  and i currently go to Martin Van Buren High School in Queens Village ,New York. In my blog I'm going to be telling you all about me handling a super diva of a daughter, continuing my education and the high and lows of my relationship ; whether its my boyfriend to my intruding family. My tell-all web diary for you all to see!

 So lets start from the beginning. High School. Entering Martin Van Buren i was the biggest rebel from all my friends. I wanted to do something ,i did it! From cutting school to smoking and drinking to having too many fake friends. To sum up that year, i ended up with a few credits ( which was my attendance class) , a two-timing "boyfriend" , selfish friends, and tearing out my family's heart with my chaotic behavior. But sophomore year changed it all.

   

   Finally losing my unneeded baggage of friends -i started a real relationship with a guy i never thought i would ever give the time of day. I've seen him before but i don't know- he ended up being different. Okay okay. Lets be honest, he wasn't suppose to be anything big. 

Might have dated a month or two and just have fun . obviously it didn't happen

    By December i realized i was pregnant . I got nauseated after eating cheese and my boobs felt...bigger. It hit us , and it hit us hard that we could be parents in 9 months. We went back and forth on what to do but after nearly two months of deciding- we decided to do it, we're keeping the baby. So now we have to tell our families.. if you're thinking oh no-you're right because it was terrible. Yes- we just met and we were still in our honeymoon phase but it felt like something that could last forever. And yes- we wouldn't be the one taking the financial responsibility but we would've done whatever they asked of us.

  Telling Them- his family took it great. They were excited and couldn't wait for the baby! BUT ON MY SIDE it didn't go that well. They pushed and pushed for me to get an abortion. To the point we were in the clinic parking lot and i was crying that i couldn't do it. Later that night, we decided to go by his mom- to get away because of all the pressure. AKA i ran away to prove a point. That i wanted this baby whether you're on my side or not. Two days later, they found us and we came home- they agreed that they rather i be home with this baby then me being somewhere else not knowing if i would be okay.

   My pregnancy worked out perfectly for school. I didn't show until my last trimester and i was home by then . She was due in September but in the last 2 months i was put on bed rest. My cervix was starting to dilate but it was too far in the pregnancy to get stitches. But before you knew it she came . she came on September 16 at 1:19 am. she was beautiful . eyes wide open and she was already ooing everyone. 

   GETTING BACK TO SCHOOL- i didn't want to be every other teen mom and get my GED(there is nothing wrong with that) but i didn't want to think i had to give up on my high school dreams either. after the 3 weeks i came back.. i missed nearly two months of school and walking back into it was overwhelming; doing school work all night, pumping at night and in the morning so she would have my breast milk all day and i wouldn't have to give her formula. i just wanted to do right by her and be the best role model she would know. i luckily passed all my classes junior year. and was looking forward to senior year. to prom, graduation day...etc. i wanted to prove everyone wrong.To say I DID IT!

Wanna know more. Keep checking in to see what i'll post next!